I don’t have a bucket list, okay, that’s not exactly true. Let me explain. The term bucket list sounds all depressing and sad. Makes me think of someone who spent her life chained to a desk, chased paychecks, got gray and wrinkly and while the hospital ventilator wheezed in the background, she suddenly wished she’d the chance to eat fire and spin plates on her big toe like those Chinese acrobats do in the circus.
That’s just how my imagination works.
I prefer what my girl, P, calls the live it list. It’s the same concept as the bucket list, minus the whole ventilator bit. Plus it makes me think of said woman crashing a White House Party and two-stepping with Auntie Michelle Obama or rappelling down a waterfall in Costa Rica.
Again, this is how my imagination works.
Then there’s the lesser known situation known as the nectar list, which is my fave because you can celebrate/reminisce/laugh/cringe about the sweetest (or craziest, take your pick) things you’ve done so far.
Sure, some people put their extensive list into categories like adventure! love life! strange foods to eat! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good for them. I’m tapping into my random access memories vibe this go-round. Check out my 13 Not-So Stupid Things On My Nectar List.
1. I made friends with a stingray and smooched (briefly) with a dolphin. No tongue. I swear.
2. I dyed my hair blue and days later it turned Incredible Hulk green.
3. I puked all over my boyfriend’s shoes—and he didn’t dump me.
4. I snuck out of the house to go to a party. (I got busted and the DJ yelled “Curfew Police!” as my mother dragged me off the dance floor.)
5. I chopped off my bang with a pair of scissors when I was five. (A warning sign that I would be down with the #cutlife.)
6. I drove into a ditch in BROAD daylight. (No people or animals were harmed; but my ego was hella bruised.)
7. I was elected senior class president in high school. Some of my friends still call me Prez.
8. I edited an edgy, underground newspaper.
9. I got a college scholarship from a funeral directors association.
10. I jumped a fence to be in a music video (directed by Spike Lee) with hundreds of extras.
11. I crashed my bike at a gas station in Jamaica. (More adventures in broad daylight.)
12. I dressed like a boy to sneak into the male dorm. (Several times!)
13. I almost got beat up in the girls’ bathroom in middle school. After yanking my ponytail and pushing me to the ground, my would-be bully realized that I wasn’t her intended target. She apologized. (I think I thanked her for not destroying my face with her manlike fists. Not sure why.)
What’s on your nectar list? Who else drove into a ditch? I’ll wait.
