5 Ways to Choose Your Own Adventure

Life isn’t like those choose your own adventure books. If it were, plenty of people would reach for an alternate ending right now. Sometimes you’ll follow the herd because there’s safety in numbers or to blend in, and sometimes you’ll get a little circus with it, because you’re sick of the crowd and your shade of awesome is too neon orange for the crew.

Sometimes you gotta take a hard left when everybody else is going right.

Do you. Different is dope.

Here are five ways to choose your own adventure, taken from my forthcoming book Famous! How to be the Star of Your Show: A Teen Girl’s Guide to Embracing Her Fabulous Self.

1. Begin with the end in mind: Ask yourself: What do I want to happen? Which outcome will make me do naked cartwheels (well, maybe not naked!) down the hallway? In the Matrix, Morpheus shows young Neo two pills and says if he takes the blue bill, he’ll wake up in his warm bed and forget everything that’s happened. But if he chooses the red pill, Morpheus says he’ll stay in wonderland and “find out just how deep the rabbit hole goes.” Talk about beginning with the end in mind. I don’t know about you, but with an explanation like that, I’m down to see what’s poppin’ at the bottom of that rabbit hole. 

2.Think about it: Problems DON’T work themselves out. You have to work them out. Give a situation, like choosing to stay at a overpopulated school with lame electives another year or transfer to smaller school with the HTML coding class the attention it deserves. Going into something blind will lead to: “I didn’t know” when the funky brown stuff hits the fan. Even if you’re pressed to give an answer in two hours, don’t be impulsive. Always consider your options. 

3. Talk about it: Gather valuable info from reliable sources. When it comes to transferring to a new school, your besties aren’t the go-to source for this. You’ll be accused of breaking up the crew and be swayed by their we’ll miss you talk. That’s not a good enough reason to stay in a situation that sucks. Consult your advisor, a former classmate at the new school and—gasp!—your parents. The advisor may ride hard for your current school in public, but in private she could confess that a small school is much better for you.

4. Do a gut check: That flip-flop moment in my stomach, that I’m about to throw up a burger and fries feeling is a signal that danger is speeding toward me with a set of faulty brakes. When I ignored it, I end up in some jacked up situations. Listen to your gut and act accordingly. She may be telling you to leave the party early or turn down the date with the mysterious cutie for a good reason.

5. Understand decision vs. outcome: Making smart, informed decisions takes practice, especially if there’s more than one option involved, i.e. you get four promposals or three offers to sing at a wedding reception, on the same day. Just know that while you have the power to control the decision, you don’t control the outcome. What does this mean? Let me put it this way, if you choose the cutest boy of the four to be your prom date, he could turn out to be as exciting as popping a pimple. Or if you sing at a reception with the hefty payday—instead of jamming for free at your cousin’s wedding—the sound system could die in the middle of your rendition of Justin Timberlake’s Mirrors. That would suck, not just because I love me some JT, but because a romantic moment crashed and burned with you at the center of it.

Tell me about a time when you choose your own adventure. Leave a comment below and tell me if you trusted your gut, began with the end in mind or asked someone on your ride-or-die team for advice.