I didn’t smoke cigarettes in high school. I tried ’em. Once. It was something out of a horrible/cheesy afterschool special. I remember puckering up to take a pull and thinking, why am I doing this?
You know why I did it. It’s the reason we all do the stupid thing that everyone else is doing—even if we absolutely hate it. Good ol’ fashioned peer pressure never takes a vacation. She’s an overachiever in the worst way and I was a reluctant vic that day.
I didn’t even do it right. I coughed and yakked and coughed like a car ready for the auto parts graveyard.
It was gross and funky and I knew better. The nerd in me was completely paranoid about the surgeon general’s warning about smoking and cancer. I know it was just a few puffs, but my sense of punishment for this crime was completely warped. Chalk it up to my overactive imagination.
I grew up seeing my beloved grandmother smoke cigarettes, so I had an up close and personal view of the habit. This was back when you could send a kid to the store for a loaf of bread and a pack of smokes and no one even blinked. Not that my grandmother ever asked me to cop Viceroys. She didn’t.
Now it’s a federal crime to sell tobacco to minors.
It seemed like it took the world forever to catch up with us (me and my bestie the surgeon general) about toking like a fire-breathing dragon in public. Didn’t anyone else have nightmares about second-hand smoke?
Anyone?
Forget about Viceroys and Marlboros for a sec. E-cigarettes and hookahs have become the socially acceptable way to smoke. While battery-operated cigs don’t contain tobacco, they do release a nicotine-laced vapor; and hookah or shisha isn’t new. Just like all fads, it made a comeback and this time it’s hella sexy.
There are trendy lounges dedicated to vaping.
There are lists with the best hookah spots in every major city.
There’s a rap song with the catchy chorus: “baby, pass me the hookah.”
Unlike traditional smokes, e-cigs and hookahs aren’t regulated (but there’s a huge push to do so), so it’s easier for teens to ditch traditional cigs, in favor of cherry crush e-cigs or candy cane flavored hookah.
The makers of Fantasia Hookah Flavors are betting that ice creams lovers won’t refuse a mint chocolate hookah. I hope they do. And if you see me out and about, don’t pass me the hookah. Even though tobacco smoke passes through a glass water basin before it’s inhaled, it isn’t a good look for teens (or adults).
After decades of encouraging people to ditch their Camels with hard-to-ignore ads from thetruth.org and the CDC’s scary public service announcements featuring former smokers who’ve lost fingers or use an electrolarynx (throat box) to speak, e-cigs and hookahs appear to be a safer alternative.
The Center for Disease Control, commonly known as the CDC, says hookah tobacco and smoke contains “toxic agents” (carbon monoxide, nicotine and tar) known to cause oral, bladder and lung cancers.
I’m not saying that pulling on an e-cig or, hookah or a traditional cigarette, once like I did, will give you throat cancer. I’m not saying that’ll definitely lead to smoking Pall Malls. Clever marketing folks are counting on you to be swayed by the fun, friendly and less harmful position. To me, it’s kinda like slipping a bright yellow ribbon on a cobra’s neck.
Question: Would you pet a venomous cobra named Boobie just ’cause he looked friendly and was wearing a colorful ribbon?
Lemme know.
